I’m a helper. I love to help people. There is nothing like helping out a friend or even a stranger. I beleive in random acts of kindness and I practice what I preach. So why is it so hard for me to ask for help when I need it? I feel myself hesitate and I just want to crawl inside myself… For me there is nothing more embarassing then having to ask for someone elses help, because to me, that means I couldn’t do it. My obssessive Compulsive disorder tells me I have to be perfect. So if I have to ask for help, in a way I fail. I know logically, rationally I don’t, but for me it feels like I do. It’s just so hard. It can be over the smallest thing… I’m embarrased by my behavior. I can see what I’m doing but it’s so hard to do something different. Every cell in my body screams that this is exactly what I should do, even though I know better.