Trying to Explain

I have a great fiance right now… He loves me & supports me! I couldn’t ask for anyone better. Latly I’m so sad. I don’t have the energy to get out of bed. Chores around the house seem impossible to accomplish… What is wrong with me? I keep trying to explain what this feeling it like… My whole body feels heavy. I’m shaky, uneasy… Doing anything feels too much. He tells me to change my mindset… Like it’s that easy… Over and over, differently I try to explain and reexplain… But I never get through. He never understands. How could he? My mind attacks me… How could he know what that feels like? How could anyone if they never experienced it first-hand!? It’s just so hard. I just want him to understand that I really am fighting… I just don’t have the energy to put up much of a fight… 

All day I spent sleeping on and off. I lied to him about it though because I couldn’t tell him… I didn’t want to let him down. He sees me as strong and beautiful and wonderful… I’m not any of those things. I’m tired and weak. I don’t want to keep fighting… Is this all in my head? If I just change my mind, will my life change…? How do I change me mind? It’s not that easy… I keep trying… I’m trying so freaking hard… Im so tired of trying…

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Author: Kenzie

I am a 24 year old Marriage and Family Therapy graduate student at Fairfield University. I graduated salutatorian of my undergraduate class with a Bachelors Degree in Psychology from Mitchell College. I will graduate from Fairfield with my Masters degree in December of 2017. Check me & my cat out on instagram: My Account: @Kenzie_quotes_22 Cats' Account: @Ajaxcheetto Thanks for Visiting!!! πŸ™‹β€πŸ˜ΊπŸ˜Έ Check me out on Deviant Art: http://kenzie-22.deviantart.com

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