I don’t want to write… I keep trying… deleting…. And retyping… I don’t know what to say. But I have to say something. Nothing I type is just what I want to say or just want I am trying to express. I’m feeling pressure. My whole body feels like it could explode at any moment There is pressure in my throat and weight in my chest. My stomach is in knots and I feel like I’m being crushed. My ears get warm and my whole face feels like its’ on fire. My eyes are watery and it’s hard for me to hold back the tears. I can feel my chin quivering. My hands are shaking and I just want to curl into a ball and fall into black nothingness. It’s all too much. Every responsibility and thing I have to do is constantly nagging me on a continuous loop playing on repeat in my head. Just when I feel like my medications are working, the stress goes up and I crumble. Pushing my responsibilities off, helps to momentarily bind my anxiety and allows for slight reprieve, but not relief. Never relief.