I woke up this morning with some energy. That’s a rarity. While I had some motivation I buzzed around the house doing this and that. I caught myself in the mirror and sighed. I wish I could see myaelf and thing “wow.” instead I critically inventory every inch of my body. I’m lucky enough to have my fiance home on weekends. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Beautiful…” he muttered and kissed my neck. Then he continued on his way in the house. I took a moment to really look at this girl in the mirror. What was it like to be satisfied with who you see in the mirror? Is anyone? Is it just me who feels so unsatisfied? Trying to change my usual mindset of insults I reversed it. I like my hair I thought brushing it. My eyes are a nice shade of green. From there I found myself choking on my own words. Why was it so hard to love myself. I grabbed my make up (though I have no where to be today.) I slapped on some eyeliner and lipstick.
This is what the world wants right? Am I beautiful now? Will I ever see who I want in the mirror? Why is life so hard?