So I had a meeting today. I wont bother writing the details of the meeting but it wasn’t good. I held myself together just long enough to make it out the door. As I walked to my car the tears steadily streamed down my face. I held back until I got to my car. I felt my anxiety swell. I wasn’t perpared for this. I tried deep breathing but I just felt myself begin to wail sadly. The worst thing about an anxiety attack for me is the lack of control. My mind was insulting me and pulling at all the right strings to get me into this paranoid tailspin. I drove an hour back home. Through my blurry vision I drove determined to get home. Along my ride thoughts of ending it flashed in my head. How easy it would be to take all this anxiety away with the turn of the stearing wheel. But I didn’t. I fought through my urges and made it home. Crying for one final hour before I was able to compose myself. Today was a hard day but I won the battle. I’m still alive.
Today was a battle. Had a surprise anxiety attack and I had to battle through it. I’m still here so that’s something.